hais.

Dear blog,

today didn't really msged hui shan. like the first time i ever did that.
tsk, so hand itchy, went to msged her. i know she was outside, with a guy who liked her before, and of cos with a click and she had no interest in that guy but, i still don like it. its like jealous eh? oh dammit. i crossed the line again. i wasn't angry but was kinda sad. i wanted to tell her that, that after this week i won't be free to meet her anymore.i wanted to see her so badly, so so badly. perhaps its just me. i know she would stick to her desicion, bt still, i still bear hopes of being with her. thats how silly i am. :( i m still striving hard to get her a nice brithday present. bt she didn't want it bascially cos she knows or cn feel how tired i am. i totally understand that but do you know, its also motivation? its been long since i wanted to save so badly buying something for someone special. sorry that i m being stubborn. i know you meant well. i really do.! i wanna say "i miss you!" so much, so so much and actually its been long since we met. (we only met on the 3/9 and 4/9 of this mth.) :(

i will try not to cross the line too girl, i will try, if you cn keep it in a compartment in ur heart, then i think i could too. i think, i can. bt nevertheless, i still feel very sad. :( its terrible.! ARGH! i need to stop feeling this way. i was just wondering, if i change would i feel better? hmmm..

lastly, i can't slp since i told you lets be friends. WHAT TO DO!? fml.