hais.

today, we didn't text much too. what can i say? i wanted to text you so badly bt idk what can we talk abt. probably this is what others say, ran out of topics? i remember saying that we would figure is out somehow when the time comes, bt it seems much more difficult. i keep asking my friend, eh what can we talk about? and he said, i thought you normally got alot of things to talk one? why now nth to say uh? . OKAY, i guess i hid a part of me when we became friends. bt i really want us to return to the past us, where we used to chat for long hours. i enjoyed having your company girl, i really do. bt now, somehow i m lost. can i really keep my stance as a friend? i want to stand by your side and watch you, care for you and do whatever i can for you bt idk what stopping me from doing it. can i take a step closer to you and yet still stay as friend? tsk this is a problematic question. i was hoping to strike a conversation with you, bt seems like its not working. didn't i tell you that i would disappear (no talking no texting) once in a while when we are friends? i did didn't i? thats just me. :( a bad habit, espically when i don't feeling like telling my friends anything. not that i m not contacting them, just want to be with myself for a little while. :( i miss you girl. your stupid boy is still waiting. i guess i m just being stubborn. oh well. i think this is just me, the saddness in me.

alright, abt today, i met up with some of my secondary sch friends. it been like 3 years since we met up, basically cos they did not go for the class reunion. we crap alot. just like the good old school days. i realised that they didn't change bt yeow and i changed alot. probably the people we mix ard with and circumstances made us such change in such a way? bt then, all the childishness came back with them, the feeling of "freedom", i shall describe it this way cos we are basically relaxed and its really great to see these familiar faces.we eat, watch movie, eat and eat. LOL, FAT LO. i guess next week NAPFA i cmi alrdy la..HAHAHA. Additional 2 mth jiu 2 mths lo. CHEY! i also bo bian right, cos my muscles comaplain its tired. prcp coming right! ah ya! tired dao....no time to train! AH HA!

ai ni. li kai ni

枫呢喃的轻拂窗口
像爱情也只是稍事停留
风很轻 思念却很透明
怎奈穿越不了爱情
缓慢的妆流过伤口
晕开了我给不起的温柔
那一夜我们紧紧相拥
终于说出口已经不爱我
爱你所以离开你
眼泪是回忆就让他随风去
我们走过的风景 剩下了飘零漂泊的名叫伤心
爱你所以离开你
爱放进行李流浪我的记忆
为你我愿意变成云
跟着风去旅行再静静的聆听
幸福的回音南拳妈妈
缓慢的妆流过伤口
晕开了我给不起的温柔
那一夜我们紧紧相拥
终于说出口已经不爱我
爱你所以离开你 眼泪是回忆就让他随风去
我们走过的风景 剩下了飘零漂泊的名叫伤心
爱你所以离开你
爱放进行李流浪我的记忆
为你我愿意变成云
跟着风去旅行再静静的聆听
你幸福的回音
爱你所以离开你 眼泪是回忆就让他随风去
我们走过的风景
剩下了飘零漂泊的名叫伤心
爱你所以离开你
爱放进行李流浪我的记忆为你我愿意变成云
跟着风去旅行再静静的聆听
你幸福的回音

hais.

Dear blog,

today didn't really msged hui shan. like the first time i ever did that.
tsk, so hand itchy, went to msged her. i know she was outside, with a guy who liked her before, and of cos with a click and she had no interest in that guy but, i still don like it. its like jealous eh? oh dammit. i crossed the line again. i wasn't angry but was kinda sad. i wanted to tell her that, that after this week i won't be free to meet her anymore.i wanted to see her so badly, so so badly. perhaps its just me. i know she would stick to her desicion, bt still, i still bear hopes of being with her. thats how silly i am. :( i m still striving hard to get her a nice brithday present. bt she didn't want it bascially cos she knows or cn feel how tired i am. i totally understand that but do you know, its also motivation? its been long since i wanted to save so badly buying something for someone special. sorry that i m being stubborn. i know you meant well. i really do.! i wanna say "i miss you!" so much, so so much and actually its been long since we met. (we only met on the 3/9 and 4/9 of this mth.) :(

i will try not to cross the line too girl, i will try, if you cn keep it in a compartment in ur heart, then i think i could too. i think, i can. bt nevertheless, i still feel very sad. :( its terrible.! ARGH! i need to stop feeling this way. i was just wondering, if i change would i feel better? hmmm..

lastly, i can't slp since i told you lets be friends. WHAT TO DO!? fml.

3rd day insomia

Dear blog,

i guess i did it again. i made her upset again.my bad
i feigned ignorance to your feeling though i know.i am sorry.!i really am.!
i didn't know what to do. i can neither stay nor leave. crap, what am i thinking anw.-.-
wanted to message her early in the morning but idk what i should tell her...ARGH!
silly girl msged me in the end bt idk what to reply. i was looking at the phone the whole day, eat i stare, work i stare, go toliet i stare. bt i can't get the right stuff to write. tsk, she gonna get upset again. hais.!
i am no good. definately no good, i thought i m better bt in the end i was just some half assed shit. FML.

conclusion

idk...i think i gotta go..
AIM:
-back to the start before bt i know i can't.
-get more booze
-graduate
-be a radish (LOL, its time to enjoy eh? meh.)

bye bye..and i appologise.

wasted

wasted 1 whole day slping away...-.-
what am i doing...crap..
back to revisions and fyp...heh..-.-

i think imy..hmmm..

sat and sun
-no lunch for 2 working days
-thought that dinner would be better
-just as fucked up as it was...bah...
-i gonna eat alone next time.

-end.